Less of Me

Hey Gang! 

I wanted to let you know that due to recent events, my phone has totally eaten my twitter app. I don’t think I’m gonna be tweeting much because apparently, my phone HATES all twitter apps. And no, I’m not kidding.   AND what’s worse, I can’t read your tweets either!  No more tweetstalking.  This makes me sad.  The main story line in my life the past few days has been messing with twitter on my phone and nothing. Na-DA!  I think I’m only making the problem worse.  GAH!!!  I love to twitterstalk people and now that’s been taken from me.  Tweetstalking is an awesome way to kill time, is it not?   I am more upset over this than I should be.  However, Facebook still works perfectly.  Go figure.  I’m not the biggest Facebook fan. I have yet to be “sucked” into Facebook world for hours. I’m good about getting in and getting right back out. I guess I will have to play around with my Facebook app and see what goodies it holds for me. 

Well, as some of you know, I’ve been searching high and low for a weight loss site that “fits” me.  I tried the Weight Watchers site and while good, I didn’t feel it was a good fit for me.  I joined another site and again, not the most perfect for me and what I was looking for in a weight loss site.  Seems as if finding a perfect weight loss site is much like finding a perfect trainer.  Well, I guess, I’ve never had a personal trainer before.  But I’m guessing it’s kinda the same. 

In my travels to find a good weight loss site match, I found SparkPeople.com.  It really has a MySpace feel to it, which I love (hence the reason I’m not a total Facebook fan).  And it really offers everything I wanted out of a weight loss site. A sense of community.  Easy to find support system.  Easy to navigate website.  Tons of virtual pat on the backs when you reach goals.  It just has all kinds of goodies that I love.  (Sure the other sites may have offered the same thing, I just like SparkPeople.com’s website better and found it more fun to use)

So, what does this mean for you?  Well, I’m really diving head first into this weight loss thing for now.  Why? The Holidays are like RIGHT. THERE. and I need to start now getting mentally prepared for all the will power that I’m gonna need for the next few months.  Halloween was my first mini test and I think I might have scored a high D, low C?  This means that I’m really gonna drown myself in the this new site over the next little bit and kinda put this blog on the back burner for now.   Weight loss is my number one thing on the brain right now. 

The other site has a blog feature that I’m of course using and you are more than welcome to check it out and even subscribe in your feed readers.  However, I know that’s asking a lot since just a little bit I asked you to switch from my blogger blog to this WordPress blog and ya know, I still can’t figure out how to get my junkfood name to move with me tow WordPresss.  I even asked a really super smart web person to help me out and he tried and tried but no luck.  If he can’t do it, I doubt it can be done.  Although you can thank him for the page you see when you type in junkfood4thesoul.com.   I’ve gotten off topic having I?

Ok, in short:

My phone has grounded me from ever using any twitter app again. And since my phone has me under lock and key via a contract until December, my phone wins! But I don’t have to like it!!!

I am kinda putting this blog on the back-burner for the time being so that I can concentrate more on my weight loss blog and doing all that I need to do to meet my weight loss goals.  (lose 108lbs by November 1st of 2010)

Check it out if you’d like: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=PIPPER7600 

And, if anyone knows how to get my junkfood name to transfer to this WordPress blog, feel free to let me know! 

So kids, you will probably see less of me which is a good thing so that when you see me in person (hopefully June 12th in mah Becky’s home state!) , there will be less of me to see!! Get it?  You see that I did there, right?  

Text me, email me, don’t forget about me!  As most of you know, my feelings get hurt more easily than they should and when I don’t hear from you for a long time, I think, “Oh. My. God. They HATE me! They really hate me.” and then I’m afraid to get in touch with you because I’m sure that you hate me and I create this whole storyline in my head about why you hate me.  Yes, I’m 14 year old girl trapped in a 33 yr old’s body, obviously. Crap. I’ve gotten off track again haven’t I?

 

 

 

It’s kinda like my own Sophie’s Choice only it isn’t…

My phone hates me and I don’t even know what I’ve done to piss it off!

It started waaaayyy back at ConFab.  All of a sudden my call log was empty.  No calls that I’ve made, no calls that I’ve received. Nothing. Nada.  I chalked it up to the fact that I had switched time zones or something crazy like that. I didn’t even really give it a second thought. 

However, my call log has not worked right since then. If you call me and don’t leave a message, chances are I have no idea that you called.  This was not cool when my boss called me and I didn’t call him back.  In my defense, he didn’t leave a message, but it would have been nice to acknowledge that he called me. 

Then I have an issue with downloading videos.  Sometimes I can. Sometimes I can’t.  Either way it takes FOREVER for me to find out.  The little hourglass of horror pops up on my screen and I just have to wait it out. 

Then we have twitter.  My phone and twitter have had fights before.  However, after a bit they seem to work it out.  This time, it’s gotten way worse than any time before.  I click on twitter and the hourglass of horror pops up and nothing.  For hours. Seriously, I tested it out this weekend.  The hourglass of horror can go all night long ala Rob Schneider, from Waterboy (I love that movie don’t you ?). 

Also, I my tweets get all mixed up.  It doesn’t update my friends list when I polity ask it to.  It shows updates that are 4 hrs old. 4 hrs seems to be the magic number.  However, when post an  update, it updates EVERYONE.  The secret I guess is that I have to post an update for the thing to work properly! Not awesome.

This all brings me to my point.

My contract is up in December. I don’t know if I want to pull a Dustin and go old school or if I want to go full-blown iPhone type phone thingy. I don’t use my phone to make calls.  I use my phone for texting, taking pictures getting my emails and twittering.  I also read blogs, check People.com and CNN.com from my phone all throughout the day.  It’s like my mini computer more than anything.  I certainly don’t use it primarily as a phone. 

Sooooooo, I was thinking about maybe getting the most basic of phones that I can get. I’d like to have text messaging, but I suppose it’s not necessary  (more on that in a much later post that I’m not ready to write at the present time).  And then getting a iPod Touch.  I really like the iPod Touch thingy.  It will do everything I want my phone (except text messaging and my awesome picture taking) and it’s a one time fee, not a monthly fee. 

I’m still not sure what I’m gonna do.  I just know that right now, I’m paying a outrageous monthly amount for my “phone” that I don’t use as a phone and this thing seems to be dying right before my eyes.  I have a big decision to make before December.  You can totally sympathize with me, right? 

And You Can Tell Everybody This Is Your Song (pt 3)

Alright kids, it’s time to liven up this joint! I’ve been pretty moody the last few days and I’m sooooo over it!  I just want to enjoy this weekend catching up on my shows that I have  recorded, go trick or treating with mah family and maybe take a hay ride or get lost in a corn maze and take my doggie to the dog park on Sunday. 

The only thing standing in my way of me and my weekend of fun is a few loads of laundry that I will do tonight. Blah.  Why can’t it be acceptable (and free) to just buy all news clothes instead of washing them?  Laundry is my all time most evil nemesis. Wait. No, I take that back.  The treadmill is!  Man I hate that thing!!! 

None of this is the point to this post.

I’ve done this thing a time or two and it always makes me super happy! 

Leave me a comment and I will tell you what song makes me think of you.  No worries if you’ve played along before, you can play again.  I won’t ever a have “one time only” rule for this.  It’s too much fun!

 Oh! for fun, what song do I remind you of? Does anything come to mind?

Alrighty kids, get on your dancing shoes and lets make it happen…

Restore My Faith in Humanity, Please

Ya know, I think I might hold people to a higher standard than they should be held to. 

It’s becoming a problem.

I think I need to view most, if not all, people from the standpoint, “How are *YOU* gonna let me down?” Then I won’t be so disappointed when they DO let me down. 

I don’t say this to be mean, truly I don’t. 

I say this because I’m tired of being let down.  I expect people to do certain things and then when they don’t, I get disappoint because WTF? Is it that hard to email someone back? Is it that hard to help out friend? Is it that hard not to sell  out a friend or your family member? Is it that hard to pick up the phone? 

Do you ever feel this way too?

Ok, so don’t get wrong, I have some pretty awesome friends whom I adore and I’m very fond of some of my family members plus, I truly have the best mother in law you could ask for.  With that said, it seems that the other people, the people that aren’t directly in my inner circle of trust, really piss me off more times than not because they are just totally douchey. 

As I sit back and peek out of my world and look into the outer world, I see people kissing the ass of other people while the most sincere people go unnoticed or taken for granted.  That really makes me mad and disappointed in the human race.  I get disappointed because I think, “So-n-so is totally gonna to the right thing and we will live all happily ever after.” But nooooooooo, time and time again I see “So-n-So” totally screw over “Mr. Nice Guy” just to kiss the ass of  “King of the Hill.”  I get so freakin’ sick of it.  Does ‘So-n-So’ not even think the rest of us are gonna notice?  Does ‘So-n-So’ have a clue how much they suck?

I’m getting really cryptic aren’t I? Sorry about that. But when your blog is open for the world to see, you have to be careful, ya know.  I don’t want any death threats because I dare go against ’so-n-so’ in his/her quest to be under the almighty ‘king of the hill.’

And whatever happened to tack? Whatever happened to common courtesy?  Whatever happened to just doing the right thing? Whatever happened to NOT selling out people for your personal gain? And while I’m at it, why are teenagers cursing so much these days? Geezus! I was standing in the line the other day behind some and GOOD GOSH! The things that they were saying! After that, I hold out even less hope that we are going to be better tomorrow than we are today.  

Do any of y’all have any good stories of people being awesome?  I had quite an encounter and ugggghhhh I’m just super disappointed in the whole wide world right now. So dear readers, restore my faith in humanity, pretty please and tell me about something good a complete stranger did for you.

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The Cough: Both Good and Bad

The good news: I don’t have H1N1, I have bronchitis instead.
The bad news: My mega super annoying, I. Want. To. Kill. Myself cough is going on day 7. 

The good news: I went to the doctor on Friday for my cough.
The bad news: She did not give me cough medicine with codeine. Just antibiotics for bronchitis. She clearly hates me.

The good news: We had the best time Saturday night going to a ‘for real’ haunted house for the first time with the girls – but did not give “the cough” to any of my blogger friends.
The bad news: I wasn’t in Florida Saturday night with all my blogger friends -instead coughed for two hours waiting in line for said haunted house.

The good news:  I’m very sure I’ve been on a 7 day high from all the medicine I’m taking for my cough.
The bad news: I’m still driving around town and going  to work and trying to act “normal” while not feeling normal at all because downing cough medicine is probably not the recommended way to take cough medicine.

The good news: I didn’t annoy you all weekend by tweeting about my cough.
The bad news: I’ve lost my phone!

The good news: All this medicine makes my head cloudy.
The bad news: All this medicine makes my head cloudy.

The Freak

Whenever I share a part of myself, my inner self with people who aren’t my immediate inner circle I get paranoid.  I think, “Crap. What if I came off as crazy? What if I came off as too bitchy? What if I came off as too needy? What if I came off as just plain dumb?”

 All kinds of thoughts go through my head, much like you feel after a job interview. I replay the all the events, conversations, text messages, emails sent, the whole nine yards and think,”What if I said or did the complete wrong thing? What if I shared too much? Oh. Great. They must hate me now.” 

What always shocks me is when I share just a tidbit of who I really am inside of me and show some of what is behind the mask, what surprises me is when I really do make a friend in spite of all my “Janelle-ness.”  

I’ll be real honest, I’m not an easy person to be friends with. I require a lot of my friends.  I can go months without emailing you, texting you or calling you. You might begin to think that I’ve fallen off the face of the earth only to find that Hey! I pop back up again at the most random times.  I always chalked that up to part of my Janelle-ness but truthfully it really is more about me than you.  I tend to think that people don’t want me to bother them because they find me boring, think that I don’t want to talk about what they want to talk about  and so on and so on…  I tend to think that people just think I’m the “filler friend” the friend that you call upon when nobody else is around.  I’m sure that low self esteem factures into the equation somewhere? 

I feel that way because when I do “pop up” and you don’t instantly reply or when I share a wee bit more than I should and you don’t give me your feedback, I think, “OH GOD! They hate me! They think I’m a freak!”  (told ya I wasn’t an easy person to be friends with! I come with lots of baggage don’t I?)

I convince myself that you have all kinds of other “normal” friends that you’d rather hear from other than me and when you see my name pop up in your email or caller ID, you think, “Oh. It’s just her.” 

I wish I wasn’t that way. I wish that I could be as secure with you as I am with my work, my family, my hubby.  I wish I could show you that I’m not a lost little girl who you may think I am. I am confident that I’m an awesome person and a wonderful friend.  But on the other side of that coin I think, “You are only being nice to me because you are just a nice person.”   I think you might find irony somewhere in that paragraph??

So, what does all this mean?  I have some really amazing friends. I know some really amazing people and while it will probably take me a lifetime to truly believe that they really like me and aren’t just being nice just to be nice, I’m thank my lucky stars that some of *you* have come into my life. 

Don’t

I don’t pick my friends based on if they read my blog, have twitter, live close to me or even call/ text/ email  me all the time. My friends are the people who will not only tell me if I have dirt on my face but help me to wipe it off.

Don’t tell me that you’re a Christian and then talk behind my back like I’m the devil either cryptically or otherwise. I may not be the perfect wife, mother or friend, but I try and sometimes I don’t get it right. If you can’t accept my apology then do us all a favor and just stop pretending. 

Don’t spread the lie that you are great friend or some awesome person when I’ve seen you kick others while they were down.  When you’ve kicked me when I was down.

Don’t say you can sympathize with practically anyone yet when I was reaching out for you, all you offered was your criticism.

Don’t tell me that you forgive me but still bring up my past mistake(s) as if I haven’t learned from them or as if I’m a child that has to be reminded to brush her teeth nightly.

Don’t tell me you will be there for me but turn on me the first time I’m not all that you wanted me to be.

Don’t tell me that you hate confrontation but blatantly pick a fight.

Don’t tell me that you are strong and yet metaphorically cry if I don’t say “good morning” in the tone you think appropriate.

Don’t tell me that I can call on you when you clearly disagree with everything I am and everything that I stand for.

Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter when it clearly does matter.

Don’t tell me that you want to spend more time with me yet when I offer my time to you and away from things that need my attention, you can’t even say, “no thanks.”  You just act like I never called you.

Don’t tell others of my mistakes, judging me - all the while smiling at me as if I’m your best friend.

When I say I’m sorry and I’ve all that I can do and if that isn’t good enough for you, please do us both a favor and stop pretending that you are friend.

Don’t tell me that you have your priorities in order yet hold on to the littlest thing as if the future of the world hinges on it.

Don’t cry to me about how broke you are and  then the next thing I hear about you is that you bought a Wii when it wasn’t even your birthday or your child(rens) birthday.

Don’t make me believe that we are friends when you sell me out.

Don’t tell me that you love my children yet never make an effort to see them.

Don’t tell me that I’m pretty when I have dirt all over my face. I will look in the mirror at some point and know the truth (about you and me both.) 

Danger: it’s only where you find it. Fun: it’s right under your nose.

You have probably seen this sort of thing on other blogs… “weekly winners.”  They are usually pictures taken by people who actually have an eye for a perfect photo opt and can take a photo that actually produces an emotion from the viewer.  I am not one of those people who have that gift.  I see something I like, I pull out my glamorous phone and snap a picture.  PS- my phone does not take great photos. Now, my hubby’s phone, takes awesome pictures.  My phone does not. 

However.

Here is my weekly winner!  I love this picture!! 

Before I show you, you must know the back story.

My dog thinks my cat is her BFF.  My dog chases the cat around as if it’s a great game. The dog is wagging her tail and just has a big ball of fun of it.  My cat on the other hand, hates the dog. Thinks the dog is going to eat her, I’m sure.  This doesn’t stop the cat from coming out of hiding to absorb her human snuggle time.  The cat: HAS TO HAVE HUMAN CONTACT ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME!  It gets kinda old, the cat gets all snuggly on your lap and then BAM! The dog comes out of NOWHERE and it’s time to play, “give the cat a heart attack” time!

So, here is:

Danger: it’s only where you find it. Fun: it’s  right under your nose. 

Party Like A Rockstar For Me, Mmmmkay

So, most of you will be going to Adam’s Halloween Party. Yay. For. You.

I’m not jealous at all.

Not even a little bit. 

Nope.

Not at all. 

Ok. Maybe a little.

I really want to go. Or more like, I really wanted to go.

But I cannot.

I have to the adult thing. I have doctors bill that I need to pay off. I REALLY, REALLY, really debated on if I should pay the doctors this month or take that money and hop on a plane and go see all my fellow blogger friends.  I really want to do both.  But my want to pay off our medical bills is super great.  We are slowly but surely getting all of our medical bill hell.  We had a one two punch when it came to doctor stuff over a year ago.  And I’m still paying what our insurance wouldn’t cover.  I hate America’s Health Insurance System. I pay a premium every month AND STILL have had all these medical bills. That just IS. NOT. RIGHT! I don’t care who you are or what you believe, our insurance system sucks a$$!!!

Come November 15th, we should be all done with medical bills EXPECT for the hospital bill which we are on a payment plan and while I would love to pay that off super quick, the fact that they put on a payment plan and it’s super cheap, I just can’t bring myself to pay it off any quicker because *HELLO*  they aren’t charging us interest and it’s a really super cheap payment.  It’s kinda like Paul’s student loans that are hanging over our heads, I want to pay those off too, but dang, the interest rate is like 1.5% and the payments are super cheap.  I’m sharing too much of our financial information aren’t I? 

Well, in short… I’m gonna get out of this medical bill hell and wait until next year to see all you guys at Adam’s.  I do hope you all have a wonderful time and I sure as heck hope that doing all this adult stuff pays off soon enough and I can party like a rock star at some point in my life!